Relational choices

  
Something to know about me….In my job (and I guess in life as well), I am the 1^st line of an email reader. I get tons of work emails each day and the 1st thing that I tend to do is to prioritize the fire that is blazing the highest. It is just the world that I work in and am realizing that it has become the world that I have been living in. Get my attention in the 1^st 1 or 2 lines of the email or I move to the next “problem”. No time for information that doesn’t apply to the moment, no time for a thank you or for general information….Bad I know but I am just being honest. In some cases, it works but in many, I miss the point of the email because of my lack of follow through and desire to get to the issue at hand.

 As stated yesterday, it can be difficult to apply this wisdom and discernment that Proverbs seems to devote many chapters to, in situations where our desire can jump out and take the lead. In many cases, this desire may start out with “clean and good” intentions. My latest example involves a relationship in which I believed that I was on the path that our Heavenly Father wanted me to be on. It seemed clear and you know what….The truth is….I still believe that this relationship was not only allowed by God but was intended.

 We have this thing in life that is called free will. It is messy and causes all kinds of  issues but it is THE MAIN reason that we are all here. The most simple and true reason that we are here is to CHOOSE. Choices are made all of the time but there is one main choice of salvation that (after it is chosen), changes all other choices. After choosing salvation, all other choices fall into 2 different types: 1 type that grows a relationship with our heavenly father (while here on earth) or the 2^nd type which is one that is not relational and is self serving. For many Christians, we tend to look at our journey being over when we make that 1^st big decision to choose salvation…Maybe we’ve got it covered at that decision from an eternity standpoint. It is not my intention to argue for or against “once saved, always saved” in this observation. Mine is to focus on something else today. This is something that has been put on my heart a lot the past few years…Rewards of the relationship that I choose here on earth with my Father in Heaven. I DO think it is as simple as that. For me this takes constant effort. For me, a path that can start out based on thoughts that are relational with my Father in Heaven, can easily be twisted and contorted by the second type of thought. It can happen FAST and for now it can be extremely difficult for me to recognize.  

 I hear the following term used a lot by support groups or people that are recognizing that they are in the middle of a life storm….The term goes something like “one day at a time” or “living today for today”…something to the effect anyways. For me….when I am at my very best, I modify this. In most cases it can and should literally be changing the term “day” to “minute”. Our father wants us to choose him and I am finding that (from a relationship standpoint) it is a choice that must be made consciously, deliberately and often. He is perfect, he will always forgive and love us no matter what. He doesn’t give up on us for a day, or a minute, or a second even. However, we are not perfect. Any relationship, father to son or husband to wife or whatever, takes interaction and thought to truly be a good fruitful relationship.

 But there is another entity with a very different purpose and goal. He is a liar and Boys and Girls, he never gives up either. Not for a day or a minute or a second. He would love for a believer to live day by day. That gives him 23 hours and 59 minutes to occupy our minds as he pleases. With TV and Radio and Internet and Visually striking examples of the opposite sex walking down the street….these are the tools that are most tangible to identify yet we choose to ignore. We choose to believe that he isn’t that busy, that powerful and that we aren’t that important (that is what he tells us after all). It is part of the lie that he tangles and weaves and he is the master deception. Less tangible things are worry, anger, fear. He doesn’t need a venue like TV or news articles for that. It is our nature and he knows us all too well. He is very different than our Father. He exploits and utilizes every tool that he has. He isn’t the most powerful being in the universe. That is our God. However, he is ONE of the most powerful beings in the universe. He wants YOU! He wants to rob you from a precious eternity. Bad enough so you say….No, he wants to keep you from anything that has to do with a relationship with your Father during your time here on earth as well. He wants nothing more than to keep you from reaching your full potential here or anywhere. HE DOES NOT WANT YOUR LIGHT TO SHINE! It isn’t about love. It IS more likely about the old adage….misery LOVES company. It happens all of the time. A great reference/example of his deception is a short book called Screwtape Letters written by C.S. Lewis. A friend of mine, uses the term "spiritual warfare" in regards to this kind of thing and she takes it very seriously when and where she can identify it but it can be difficult to even be aware. He is that good at being bad.

 This time, for me it involved a relationship with a beautiful complex soul, a daughter of our most excellent Father. I stand firm in believing that it was his path to be part of this woman’s life and her part of mine but I (maybe, probably we) read the 1^st line of the spiritual email, made assumptions and decided to take it from there. We did involve God and we honored him and each other physically in our relationship. We did many things well and very few wrong. The relationship did impact my life positively and in some ways God’s objectives (I know) were met. In this case though, I think it was all about timing, patience (or lack there of), fear, and past hurt or lack of trust. Not so much between each other but in God himself. If I would have been more focused on him those things would have been intrusted to him. Instead, it ended up manifesting itself as negative feelings toward each other. If we both would have trusted him with our timing, patience, fear, trust and Past hurt, no telling what other kind of fruits God would have blessed us with. Not harping or crying over the past too much here. Just trying to learn where I can.

 Good news though….Our Father loves us and is the most powerful being in the universe and he has a wonderful habit of taking our screw ups and teaching us through discipline and love and allowing us to gain wisdom the hard way if that is what it takes. It isn’t because he doesn’t love us. It is just how we grow. It isn’t always pleasant in the moment and may not make sense until we gain wisdom (just like the Toddler picking shiny “bad for them” objects off of the floor)..... A pen is not a bad thing for an adult that has wisdom on using a pen, but a pen can be a dagger to the eye or choking hazard to a toddler, right? Good thing he gives us more "pens" when we have the wisdom and knowledge to make better use of such things.

Wisdom can be difficult to see during the process of learning

It can be so difficult to listen to things that you don’t want to hear sometimes. We are literally just like little toddlers some days aren’t we?.
Ex: a toddler sees a shiny object and is drawn to it. They see that it would fit in their hand, it may even taste good. It looks good, it looks GREAT! it is within reach…,they want this new thing more than anything else in the world. It becomes their immediate passion, their sole existence, their only purpose to obtain this object. Obsessive? Maybe....They waddle or crawl or scoot (whatever form of locomotion they have available) and grab for the object. The one right there in front of them. The one they see Mom or Dad or big brother or sister with just minutes earlier. It is the one just within reach. They get their little drool covered hand on it and the world is good. You can see the amazement on their little faces….Just as they do accomplish their mission, Mom or Dad swipes it out of their hand and (in a best case scenario) gives them a single cheerio or toy. In most cases they simply get a disciplined “NO” with little to no understanding made available to them in the moment, as there is none to really give a toddler. They would simply not understand or comprehend.

From their perspective, life is totally unfair and everything (I mean EVERYTHING) just blows up. Anger, frustration, hurt. In some cases, I remember seeing my son and daughter sink to the floor collapsing as if finished with ever trying to accomplish anything in life EVER again. An absolute explosion of emotion.

What is it that the parent sees that is so different from the toddler? The object of affection, the beautiful and shiny thing that must be had, the thing there for the taking? The Mother or Father sees a knife, a pen (a dagger to a toddlers grasp), a razor blade…..In the moment, it makes no difference to the toddler. They know not. The pain and hurt they have here in the moment, it pales in comparison to the true pain, hurt, disfigurement or maybe even death that would have ensued if not for the loving earthly guardian and his or her attentiveness.

What a true example of what happens to us in life as adults. How much different are we really, in his eyes?

Heavenly Father, I am sorry YHWH for pursuing the shiny objects that become my affection. It can be so easy to miss it but thank you for the wisdom and insight that you have given me in my own experience as an earthly father. Help me to find contentment in this example in my own pain today. I love you and thank you in the name of Jesus Christ. AMEN!